One of my glass cats is dying of old age
He’s got a cataract in one eye
Swims too slow for the rhythm of the shoal, excludes himself to the farthest corner from them, but the closest to me
He tries to teach me a lesson on death, on the process of grieving what you are watching slowly decay
and I give him no quarter
I feed him a little extra (our secret) and tell him to be quiet
In an aquarium next to him, in a different reality he’s oblivious to, a rotala breaches the surface
I’ve kept the plant for years now, not one has had the cunning to think of that path to the light
They normally just crowd the edge of their little horizon, green plumage changing to reds and purples to keep from burning-
in the light they themselves creep closer and closer to
It weights on your mind.
9 of Swords - Minor Arcana
Nine of Swords; depression, anxiety, fear, inner turmoil
A figure kneels on the ground, caught up in their own clothing and wrapped by layers of overlapping, dark, and unrelenting armor. It might appear to serve as protection but it merely restricts them. Patterns are embroidered into the textile, but they are faded. There is an empty space where a head should be; they are in a sense of stupor where all thoughts result into nothing. Nine spikes emerge from the metal that envelops their mind, a sign of spreading and growing worry. Two sculptured hands press against the space where their face should be, a sign of a failed attempt at comforting oneself. They grip a double edged sword for support. There is no hilt, nothing to hold onto, but they do not let go. Both a symbol of grasping at past hurt and an attempt to rise up again.
Help is difficult to ask for, blood flows from their palms, but it is necessary. It is the only sign of color in the design; it suggests that not all is bleak for the future. One hand presses against the ground. They can rise again.
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.
Mary Oliver
8 of Swords - Minor Arcana
Eight of Swords; self-imposed restriction, negative thoughts, inner critic
A long flowing cloth emerges from their headpiece; it constricts their arms behind their back and wraps around their body before the excess pools at their feet, symbolizing that constraint comes from their own head. Their headpiece covers their real eyes but many are carved upon the metal; they are attentive to all the wrong things and blind to reality. Sharp teeth emerge from their lower helmet but their edge is pointed inward, for they are their worst critic towards themselves.
Any of their swords could cut them free but they too are wrapped in the visual representation of overthinking. Even the swords themselves seem to cage them in. The cloth around their arms is loose, however, signifying they can still move.